Silver Mettle
Being from Oklahoma,
I can’t stand Texas—
but if they got
one thing right,
it’s chili.
•
Chili shouldn’t
have beans.
Beans are filler.
People who prefer them
probably enjoy
circus peanuts.
•
Meat,
meat,
and more meat—
brisket burnt ends,
ground chuck,
top sirloin.
A little bacon
to make it sing.
•
Onions,
garlic,
celery
cooking down.
It smells like
Heaven’s kitchen door
is open.
•
Heat,
heat,
and more heat—
habaneros,
jalapeños,
chipotles.
•
The pot is loaded
with peppers—
a cauldron
that could make
a dragon sweat.
I grabbed
every pepper
on the aisle,
except
a pack
of pickled peppers.
Peter would be
disappointed.
•
More spices
than a Turkish bazaar.
•
Honestly,
I couldn’t afford
anything else.
Budgetary constraints—
hopefully not
my downfall.
•
Wait—
who hung
a sign that said
“Too spicy!”
on my pot?
What sort of
interoffice sabotage
is this?
•
Quickly,
I add:
“For weaklings.”
•
It doesn’t matter.
Minds are made up.
•
The voting is in—
•
$200
for second place.
My trophy
eludes me
yet again.
No golden ladle
hanging proudly
in my cubicle.
•
It’s not my fault
they have no taste.
Vanilla is too spicy,
apparently.
•
I lost to Frank—
and his
white chicken chili.
Which anyone
with a conscience
would agree—
is soup.
•
And I nearly
finished third
to a guy who bought
canned chili
and added—
ketchup.
•
I think I’ll take
next year off.
Let this loss
marinate.
•
…who am I kidding.
•
Back to
the drawing board.
•
Next year—
pancetta
instead of bacon.
Budget be damned.


Love this one! Made me smile :) Oklahoma is a wonderful place.
Peter would be disappointed 😂😂